Before we get into as to break up with a loved one, let’s first focus on Why. At the end of the day, all relationships have to be nurtured to keep them going, so how can you recognize when they just aren’t working anymore?

First, you want to ask yourself if you really gave the relationship a fair chance. You may take a break from the relationship and realize you don’t want to break up after all, or maybe one of you is going through a temporary rough patch. Maybe you are actively working with a couples counselor, things are improving, and you both want to keep the relationship going.

That’s why your overall well-being is the most important factor to consider when deciding whether to end a relationship, according to licensed marriage therapist Vina Cullins, LCMFT.

“While all intimate relationships experience challenges from time to time, staying in a relationship that constantly causes you stress or undermines your physical, emotional or mental health is not a good choice,” Collins previously told mindbodygreen.

And as licensed psychotherapist Babita Spinelli, LP, adds, it’s perfectly possible to know someone isn’t right for you, even if you love them.

However, if you don’t see a future with this person, they burden you more than they inspire you, or you demand that they change, it’s probably time to end the relationship. (Here’s our complete guide to knowing when it’s time to break up for more.)

Now, if you’re sure it’s time to break up, here’s how to do it.