Narcissism is a behavior pattern characterized by overconfidence, a lack of empathy for others, a constant need for admiration and attention, and an inability to accept criticism in a healthy way. Narcissists are easy to fall in love with because they don’t show their worst traits at first. However, over time, narcissistic abuse may become more common. One common warning sign is repeated gaslighting.

“Gaslighting is when someone tries to convince you that their reality is real and yours is not,” psychotherapist Cynthia LaForte, LCSW, tells mbg. “It may sound like control and manipulation, because it is, but it’s in the service of the person doing the gaslighting.” She adds that it can seem like one person is always right and the other is always wrong.

Slyther needs to apply his own reality to others because admitting that someone else might have an experience different from his own is too threatening. They may try to “plant seeds of doubt in the victim, causing them to question their own memory, perception, and sanity,” says licensed counselor Candice Kotkin-De Carvalho LSW, LCADC, CCS, CCTP.

Narcissistic gaslighting involves a narcissistic person who uses gaslighting tactics to support their ego or sense of superiority over others. “Gaslighting is a way to get narcissistic supply from someone,” LaForte explains. Narcissistic suggestion is attention, negative or positive, that a narcissist thrives on for validation and self-importance.

What’s more, narcissists need their reality to be true—and real to everyone—because their sense of self is too fragile to even offer the possibility of an experience other than their own, LaForte explains.